Tuesday, October 31, 2006



This is what I'm up against. It's going to be a vicious fight, but I'm hopeful that I'll succeed. If I do, that pic will be clothed in fun-fur.

Wait.... What?

A little background:

Lisa and I are gonna get hitched, it's a given. We have been together forever, I'm crazy about that girl, and I think she has grown to tolerate me. Over the years, we have talked about the actual wedding and what it might look like.

She is fairly traditional; she wants the white dress, me in a tux; we'd take wedding pictures in a scenic meadow somewhere, then go to a large hall where we'd listen to tipsy people make impassioned speeches about how perfect we are for each other, and how they always thought we'd last this long. We'd do this in front of 200-300 relatives, everying eating and drinking and carousing. There would be dancing and an open bar and it would be a good, straight-forward wedding.

Mine is mostly the same, but with one small change. I want the theme to be "woodland forest creatures", and I want to dress in a bear suit.



Like that, but maybe without the mustache or gun.

There would be costumes provided for the guests also, from little accessories like ears and tails to full-body suits for those guests who wanted to truly get into the swing of things. There would still be music, eating, drinking and dancing, but in costume.

Lisa laughed it off the first time I told her my idea, but as the years went by and I didn't change my mind, she realized, with growing horror, that I was in fact serious . And I am.

Which brings me to our bet. On Sunday we measured each other's various physical dimensions (get your mind out of the gutter, it was very scientific), and our bet is that if she gets more buff and I do in the next 8 weeks, I shall totally submit to her will regarding the wedding, and there will be no bears allowed. No tails, no fangs, no ears, just a tasteful regular tuxedo.

If I win, we both dress as bears and the theme will be the aforementioned "woodland forest creatures". I'm a pretty flexible guy, I don't care what type of bear she dresses as. A polar bear costume might be appropriate with the whole white wedding thing, or perhaps a panda as that sort of looks formal.

This is a real contest, and I will be updating my blog every couple of weeks with our respective progress.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm curious about the actual measurable improvemnts/changes...Is it a percentage of change? Or actual measurments? or what does success look like?
And curious too about the place of compromise. A contest is just a word for fight , right? And as for woodland creatures, Wikipedia has a wicked ensemble of critters which would be included in the overall category. And believe me they are not all furry.Blog on Sulako!!

Anonymous said...

If woodland forest creatures wins will wingnut be invited?

LMAO

jennifer said...

OMG.
YOu had better hit the gym, I am dying to see that!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

colbert would not approve...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBuXz4ozJLc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUfnI6v0rzk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKL2xKEhOQ4

Soaring Student said...

I'm crazy about that girl, and I think she has grown to tolerate me.

If you can suggest the furry woodland creatures idea, and she is still willing to get hitched, then there is a lot more than "tolerance" involved. Sounds like she is a keeper.

Though a room full of furry woodland creatures would be a novelty.