For my 401st post, it's picture time. Lets go to Florida on someone else's vacation! The good pictures are courtesy of Kitsch, the crappy ones are all me.



One of these days I'll get the hang of wearing a headset properly.




I turned around about 3 hours into the trip to discover a stowaway! A very thorough stowaway, she even brought her passport.



First thing we did was go to the beach, which was surprisingly foggy.




Kitsch was confused by the IFR weather and accidentally wound up in the water. We gave him vectors back to dry land and disaster was averted.



Lisa concentrated on the basics, like bipedal locomotion.



I hunted sharks, but didn't find any in the ocean.



We paused briefly for a group portrait. A very organized bunch we are.




We left the beach and went to the mall, where the hunter became the hunted. After an epic battle I was able to distract the stuffed shark with a stuffed sea lion and get away in the nick of time, but it was touch and go for a while there.



All that life-and-death struggle makes a person hungry, so we feasted on some seriously amazing Mexican food.



For dessert, we went to a candy store by the hotel. This was their magnum opus, their tactical nuke. Rice Krispy square, richly buttered, layered in caramel and covered in dark chocolate. Each of them weighed about a pound.



We also saw what might either be Heaven or Hell, depending on your view of saturated fats.



All-you-can-eat Kentucky Fried Chicken! Gotta love the South - we don't have THAT back in Toronto, that's for sure. Theoretically I should still be at the buffet as I can eat an infinite amount of fried chicken skin if it's provided.




We went to Manatee Park to see if there were any delicious manatees around. They were all either in jail or rehab so we didn't see a single one. I did get attacked by more Floridian wildlife though...



Frickin alligators are everywhere around here, probably even in the trees. Well, we know what to do with alligators - around here, we wrassle 'em!



We decided to go check out alligators on their home turf, so we took an airboat tour. It was pretty cool. Our boat is in the background. This little bugger was very hopeful, but left disappointed.



This one would also really like to bite us a lot.



The airboat tour took us through a few thousand acres of rolling swamp. Lots of nature here! I took a quick video - apologies for the sound - it was really loud in the airboat.








Alas, it was over all too soon and after a few days it was time to head back to good old sunny Toronto. Oh wait, we arrived in the middle of a huge snow/slush/rain/fogstorm. Yes, I said fogstorm - it should be a word, dammit. You can see the pink and blue of snow, and the greens of rain all mixed in with each other. The little colored dots roughly go like this: blue - good, green - okay, yellow - marginal, red - ILS minimum weather, pink - below ILS minimum weather. The red dot right by CYYZ tells us that we will have a pretty high workload during this particular landing. Actually, we made it in about 10 minutes before Toronto Pearson went down below our weather minimums, so that was exciting, as was the drive home afterwards along the foggy/slushy highways.

This is the ride script I made up and used to conduct Kitsch's renewal PPC last month. Much praise to Inspector A.J. at Transport Canada for the initial template. This was a pretty full day; I first conducted a ride on Kitsch while a Transport Canada inspector monitored me, then the Transport Canada Inspector conducted my IFR and PPC renewal ride, then we drove 5 hours home. Kitsch had a FlightSafety instructor as his First Officer, and I had Kitsch as mine when I did my ride, so Kitsch effectively did 2 1/2 rides that day. Why 2 1/2? Well, I'll ramble on a while and then attempt to explain...




The cover page shall include lots of important info like the date, version of script, location, who it's for (Captain or First Officer) and whether or not the script is for a initial or recurrent checkride.



This page is a summary of the script, showing the ride sequence in point-form. I use this to make sure I have included all the necessary items to be evaluated.


Now let's get into the guts of the ride...



Included in the script are the exact phrases I would say as well as the exact layout of the ATIS (weather information) should Kitsch want to dial it in, along with the required operating speeds that the candidate would have calculated for taking off and landing. I have set the simulator weather to standard minimums (200' cloud ceiling and 1/2 mile visibility). I have also set the aircraft location to be on the ramp at a local FBO, facing a main taxiway.

Now the script format...Highlighted orange boxes in the script indicate some sort of emergency or abnormal situation. Just under them I include the reference pages in the Citation II Emergency Checklist which cover that particular emergency - it helps me flip to the appropriate checklist quickly so I can follow along with the crew.

You'll see that we get into abnormal situations immediately, when one of Kitsch's engines refuses to start.

Kitsch handled the situation perfectly - when the engine refuses to light off, we motor it with the starter for a few seconds, then shut it down. After he shut it down, I cleared the sim fault, and we continued.

Kitsch taxiied to the active runway and departed, heading eastward along his route of flight. It's kinda funny - when a crew is flying the sim during their checkride and nothing bad is happening, they are super-paranoid because they know something will happen sooner or later, or maybe it's already happened and they have just missed it.

As mentioned in my previous posts, the crew had demonstrated steep turns and stalls during sim training so I didn't bother making them demonstrate them again during the ride, I just had them do a normal area departure.

I let the crew sweat for a few minutes in cruise before I went to the next part of the ride...






The next emergency situation will be a fuel filter bypass, which means that some sort of gunk has clogged the fuel filters to the point they are useless, and unfiltered fuel is going into the engines. The checklist for "Fuel filter bypass light comes on" is exactly 1 item, which sounds innocuous enough until you read the 1 item: "Consider the possibility of the loss of one or both engines". I did this because I wanted the crew to attempt a return to their departure airport rather than conduct the entire flight to the destination.

Anyway, I set the sim to light up the fuel filter bypass light which certainly caught the attention of the crew. Kitsch immediately decided to land at the nearest suitable airport, which was, surprise surprise, the departure airport as I made sure that all the simulated weather at all the other simulated airports in North America was too lousy to land in.

Kitsch asked to return to Memphis and I obliged, except to say that a bunch of other aircraft were also landing ahead of him, so he had to hold for a while. I gave him a hold clearance and let him know to expect a localizer approach after the hold. He entered the hold just fine and did a couple of laps around the racetrack.



I cleared him for a localizer approach, and gave him vectors to final. I set the simulator weather to just above minimums for the approach - if Kitsch flew the approach correctly, he'd see the runway in time, but if he didn't get down to minimums in time, he'd only see clouds.

Kitsch did just fine, found the runway and set up for the landing.

He was 50 feet above the runway when I told him the previous aircraft was disabled on the runway and he'd have to conduct a go-around and missed approach. Once he started the go-around and the gear was up, one of his engines croaked, presumably from being fed unfiltered contaminated fuel.






No big deal - even on a single-engine go-around, the jet has enough power to easily climb up to altitude and try another approach. Kitsch flew the airplane and called for the engine failure checklist. He went through the checklist and decided NOT to attempt an engine re-start because the engine failed due to contaminated fuel and it likely had extensive internal damage.

I vectored him around for a single-engine ILS on another runway, and he did a beautiful approach to an uneventful single-engine landing.

After he landed, I reset the simulator and had him back-taxi to the beginning of the runway. While he taxied, I reset the simulator weather to 1200 rvr, which is the equivalent of 1/4 mile visibility for takeoff.

I cleared him for takeoff, and as he went screaming down the runway but before they were committed to flight, I gave him an engine fire indication. He immediately pulled the throttles back and stomped on the brakes, rejecting the takeoff and getting the engine fire extinguished with the fire extinguishers we have built into the engines.

I then cleared the engine fire and had him taxi back to the start of the runway for another attempted takeoff at 1200 rvr.






Now this time I let him get just past his V1 decision speed before I killed one of his engines. Once you get past V1 speed you are committed to taking off even if an engine quits, so Kitsch kept on going and took off using the thrust of the good engine. He handled the engine failure just fine, keeping the aircraft flying straight while climbing out to a safe altitude, running the engine failure checklist. One of the items in the checklist is to decide whether or not to attempt to restart the engine. The fan was still spinning just fine and there was no vibration or fire so Kitsch decided to attempt a relight.

Lo and behold the restart worked just fine, so he was back to 2 engines. I told him the fault was cleared, reset the weather so it was a nice clear day, and got him set up for a visual approach on a runway.

I wasn't entirely through with him though - as the fault had been cleared I had the chance to give him another abnormal situation, so I gave him a flap failure. He recognized it in plenty of time, called for the checklist and configured the aircraft for a flapless landing, which he executed flawlessly.

If he only flew as a Captain, the ride would have been over at this point and Kitsch would have been signed off for another year. However at our company we swap seats each leg so half our flying is done as a co-pilot and I needed Kitsch to demonstrate he could act as a copilot.




Kitsch swapped seats with his copilot for the last part of the ride. I set the weather up to be a nice clear day and told the Captain to do a normal takeoff and visual circuit. As soon as they were airborne, I gave them a "door not locked" light, which can be either the main cabin door or one of the baggage doors in the nose or tail. The Captain called for Kitsch to read the checklist and accomplish the items, which he did. The Captain flew the airplane for an uneventful visual landing to a full stop.

That's it, that was the complete ride. Oh yeah, to answer a question I asked myself right at the start of this post - by the time we were done, Kitsch had done 2 complete rides and 2 mini-rides so I figure that counts as 2 1/2 rides. Afterwards we sat down and went over a few minor items, and I renewed Kitsch's IFR and PPC for another 2 years. Then we drove back to Toronto by way of Windsor and a totally awful Swiss Chalet supper. Sort of anti-climactic, really, especially after doing a few days of simulator training where the instructors would give us multiple unrelated emergencies at the same time in an effort to break our spirits.

I guess I posted all this to let you peek behind the curtain a little bit - rides were always really scary for me but this whole ACP certification process has really demystified them and made them a lot less stressful. I hope I can do the same for you in some small way. Safe flights!

There is something seriously wrong with the simulator today, I'll have the sim techs fix it while we talk a little bit :)

While we are waiting for them to turn the sim from a truck to a plane, I have a few questions for you about our airplane. On a renewal checkride I technically don't have to ask any questions but I'm going to anyway, just to make sure you were awake during most of your recurrent groundschool training. As you have already completed your initial checkride and this is a recurrent, I'm not going to bother asking you the usual questions like "How fast can the plane go" as I know you know the answers to them.


(I have taken these questions from a list of ones I asked Kitsch when I conducted his checkride last month, along with his answers)

1. Are there any times when the fuel pumps function in the off position?

They function even when they are in the off position during engine start and when fuel crossfeed is selected.


2. What happens when you press the red engine fire button on either engine?

On whatever engine you press the button on, it closes the firewall fuel and hydraulic shutoff valves, field trips the generator and arms both the fire bottles, in addition to deactivating the thrust reverser on that side.


3. What is the maximum tire groundspeed?

It's 165 knots (about 200 mph)

4. If you suffer a complete electrical failure, how will pressurization be affected?

It won't be.

5. You are landing at Moosonee (blog readers: Moosonee is a fairly remote airport in Northern Ontario not accessible by road) and the temp is -30. Runway is paved, bare and dry. What, if any, are the limitations on thrust reverser useage?

Below -18c you are limited to 92% engine fan speed during thrust reverser operation. There is also a limitation saying you can't use the thrust reversers for more than 15 minutes at once, which we never run into - we typically only use the thrust reversers for a few seconds during landing, 10 seconds at most.


6. You have landed in Moose. You wish to hangar the airplane. The available hangar is 50 feet per side and 24 feet tall. Will the plane fit?

Mostly, but not completely. The wingspan is 50.7 feet wide so we'll have to chop a few inches off each wingtip to make it work.

7. You go to get fuel and all they have available is Avgas. Can you depart? Are you subject to any limitations?

Yes you can use avgas in the jet, suject to: no more than 500 gallons of avgas can be used before the engine has to be overhauled, max altitude limited to 18,000' (not a very fuel-efficient altitude for a jet), and the fuel boost pumps must be on for the entire time.


8. What is the length of the pressure vessel?

20.9 feet but seriously, that's not a reasonable question. Ask an engineer if you want to know stuff like that.

9. Can you land on a gravel runway in this plane?

First of all, Hell no! It would chip all the paint on the belly and wing undersides and the owners would kill me. Secondly, the 550 is not to be operated on gravel unless a gravel kit has been installed. We don't have one installed, so no bad runways for us. This is not necessarily a bad thing from a pilot perspective :)

10. Can you legally stall this airplane?

Yes, but no intentional stalls are permitted above FL250 (25,000') altitude. Unintentional stalls are just fine, however. Umm, maybe just forget about that last part ;)


That all sounds good. Here's a quick sheet with the info you'll need to do your simulator flight, as well as a flight plan I have made up and printed out for you. Take as much time as you need to get familiar with the info, and to calculate the various airspeeds and power settings you will be using.



As you can see, we are heading from Memphis to Peachtree with a few passengers. The plane just came out of maintenance and I suspect you might encounter a few mechanical issues despite your most thorough walkaround :)

// 10 minutes pass while candidate calculates the airspeeds and power settings required, and gets familiar with the route on the flight plan.

Alright, are you ready? Good, let's head down the hall to the simulator room. Your checkride shouldn't take more than about 90 minutes, depending on the mood of the air traffic controller. Oh wait, that's me :) I'm going to have a quick nervous pee and you might wanna do the same before we head in. Okay, I'll meet you there in a couple of minutes.

A pic of an instructor-station panel in the Citation 550 Simulator at FlightSafety Toledo.

•Lucky you, today is your annual checkride on the jet. You have been studying aircraft systems for weeks and have just finished up the training program at FlightSafety International, sweating in the simulator while the instructors tried their very best to put you 6 feet underground rather than 35,000 feet above it. You survived their sadism and got them to recommend you for the checkride, so the hard part is pretty much over already.

•If you pass your checkride, I will renew your instrument rating and your Pilot Proficiency Check, which will let you fly in cloud and also charge people money for your pilot services on the jet.

•We meet just inside the main doors at FlightSafety and head to an unused classroom for the ground-briefing part of the checkride.

•I have already gone through your flight training records to make sure that all the required training items are covered and that there aren't any nasty paperwork surprises that could derail the entire checkride before it begins.

•When we sit down I take care not to sit directly across from you - instead I sit next to you, which is less confrontational and more reassuring. Then I start to go over my briefing, which I am recreating for you now. Notice also that I never, ever say "Fail" or "Test" when referring to the checkride.

---------------------------------------

•Introductions

•How are you doing? Did you sleep okay? Are you feeling well? Did you manage to get a quick bite to eat? I can wait a few minutes if you'd like to load up on a bagel or muffin. Are you sure? So, are you ready to do battle with the sim?

•First of all, this is going to be a walk in the park. The standards are no tougher than the ones you have already shown you can meet. The training you have been doing for the past few days is a lot more difficult than this ride, and it will probably be anticlimactic for you.

•In training you had multiple emergencies, one after the other. During the ride we will NOT have multiple unrelated emergencies, and we can go at a much slower pace. Additionally, if you would like some extra time during any part of the ride, just ask for vectors or a hold to give you as much time as you need before moving on to the next phase of the ride. It looks good on you to ask for extra time rather than rushing through anything. We have the sim all day, and there are no outside time constraints. We will try to keep the ride as real-time as possible, and I will attempt to avoid artificial repositioning. If we do end up repositioning the sim, take as much time as you want to get re-oriented before continuing with the required items on the ride.

•From time to time you may notice that I’m writing things down during the ride. My writing things down does NOT mean that you have screwed anything up; I could be writing good things as well as things to bring up during debriefing.

•During the ride you may think you have messed something up. As long as the sim is still going, the ride is still going, so try to put any perceived errors out of your mind and move on to the next phase.

•I have prepared a weather package as well as an outline of required ride sequences. The weather during the ride will be at or below the minimum weather required for the approaches being conducted, and I will make sure the simulator is set for the correct weather. Just like real life, if you see the runway environment on an approach, then LAND! Otherwise, conduct a missed approach at the appropriate time.

•We will be doing the ride in this general order:

•We will do at least 1 normal takeoff, 1 crosswind takeoff and 1 rejected takeoff. We will do at least 1 hold, and at least 2 approaches. One of those approaches will be an ILS. We will be doing at least 1 normal landing, 1 cross-wind landing, 1 rejected landing (with missed approach) and one single-engine landing. During your ride we will also be experiencing some abnormal operations and emergencies, and you will have at least 2 engine failures. Also in the mix will be your required RVR1200 (1/4 mile) low-visibility items, including a rejected takeoff at RVR1200 and an RVR1200 V1 engine cut. Some of these items may be combined. As per CASS 724 Schedule 1, I will not be requiring you to demonstrate steep turns or stalls, assuming you have met the other requirements of CASS 724. Have you met the requirements? (check for signed letter from sim instructor testifying that candidate is proficient in steep turns / stalls).

•You will be evaluated according to the Aircraft Flight Manual, Aircraft Operating Manual, Pilots Operating Handbook, Canadian Air Regs section VI and VII, your Company Operations Manual, your company Standard Operating Procedues (SOP's) and any other applicable documents.

•You will be expected to control the aircraft within the performance criteria listed in TP 14727 Pilot Proficiency Check and Aircraft Type Rating Flight Test Guide (Aeroplane). Are you familiar with the Guide? (If not, then provide a copy of the guide to the candidate and go over the relevant performance criteria for the relevant PPC exercises to be demonstrated that day.)

(For readers of the blog, typical performance limits are things like maintaining altitude within 100 feet, heading within 10 degrees and speed within 10 knots while dealing with whatever emergencies I throw at the candidate)

•Use as much or as little automation as you are comfortable with during the ride - I expect you to use the autopilot and/or FMS just like you would in the real airplane.


•Fill out paperwork, including PPC Form 0249E

•Do you have any questions so far?

•We will try to keep the ride as realistic as possible. The Pilot Flying (Captain) is generally expected to initiate the response to an emergency, but there are 2 crew on this ride, so help each other out as you would on a normal flight in real life and you'll succeed together. Operate according to your company SOP’s and your emergency checklists. If you see a fault, assume it’s real unless otherwise advised. If it’s a sim fault I will inform you immediately. If it's a fault caused by an incorrect or inappropriate action or response to an emergency, I will not correct it. Again, don't rush! If you require more time to complete a checklist or briefing, ask for a hold or extended radar vector and I will accommodate as much as possible.

•When we get into the sim, you don’t have to wear the headsets there, but to keep it as realistic as possible, I’d like you to tune the radios. I will act as ATC, Ground Control, Dispatch, Maintenance and any/all other entities you might interact with. I also do want to hear all the radio calls that you would normally make. Here’s an alcohol swab to wipe out the oxygen mask so you don’t get the plague from the previous candidate.

•If you have any questions about anything, feel free to ask. During the ride, if you have any questions about a clearance, a ride sequence, or want to clarify anything I have said that might be confusing, please ask.

•I know it’s easy to say, but do your best to relax, and take your time.

•Do you have any more questions before I ask you a few questions about the aircraft?

A phone call a little while back went something like this:

"Hey there Sulako, it's your friendly neighborhood Transport Canada Inspector."

"Ack! Umm, I mean Howdy."

"It looks like you are scheduled for a program validation sometime soon. Let's set one up."

//I take a moment to compose myself so my voice doesn't squeak.

"Okay. A program validation then. What is that? It sounds like an audit."

"No, we don't do audits any more, we do program validations. Basically we validate your SMS. Mostly by auditing you, as it turns out."

//I could hear the grin in his voice, matching the fear in mine.

"Aiieee!"

"Even better Sully, it's a new kind of process and you guys are actually the first ones who will get to go through it."

"#%&@ my life."

"Sounds good Sully, see you next Tuesday at 8am."

Now it's kinda true - there is a difference in what Transport is looking for now when they show up at our office. Before when we'd get audited, they would show up and ask to see all our flight records. Then they'd randomly pick a pile of records and go through them to make sure all the paperwork was 100%. They'd spend hours checking our pilot exams and our flight plans, and poring over our weight and balances to make sure we weren't attempting to put 20 people into 10 seats and whatnot.

Now, the emphasis has changed to SMS, which stands for Safety Management System. It might look subtle, but to me it's a dramatic one. As an operator we are now being asked to put the systems in place to oversee ourselves, and a program validation checks to see if they are working.

For example, instead of being asked to show flight plans for flights, we are asked to show how we know the flight planning software is accurate and up-to-date. Instead of checking our pilot exams to make sure they are all filled out and haven't lapsed, they ask us what system we have in place to make sure all our exams are current and correct. For maintenance, instead of double-checking all our logbook entries for mistakes, they might ask how we intend to find any mistakes we make before they cause any harm.

The intent of this is to have operators regulate themselves - if an operator has a good SMS (safety management system) in place and they follow it, in theory Transport Canada should never have to step in and violate them for anything. Now I totally understand that this is a good idea, but in practice there is a pretty big weakness.

The weakness is that some operators tend to push the limits of safety in pursuit of money. Suppose a shady operator has all the required paperwork in their Ops Manual to indicate that they are perfectly capable of finding and fixing any safety deficiencies on their own. That's great, but what if they don't actually abide by the Ops Manuals? What if they consistently ask their pilots to fly overweight or for illegally long periods of time etc? If an operator doesn't want to address safety concerns then they will be pretty much on their own until something bad happens, like a crash.

Now I'm gonna sound all pompous here for a second, and I apologize in advance. In our operation, safety is a lot more important than money, and money is still pretty important. SMS will work for us because we genuinely want to minimize risk in all phases of flight, and we are willing to spend money to do so. But our situation is unique in that we have the luxury of being a financially secure flight department, and most operations depend on outside revenue for their survival. For those operations, this is going to set up a conflict of interest, where the same people pushing pilots will be responsible for overseeing themselves to make sure they don't push pilots.

It will be interesting to see how the shift to SMS turns out in Canada, and it'll take a few years before we have a better idea.

Anyway, the result of the conversation I had with the Transport guy was a morning spent with him going through a big long checklist and going through our Ops Manual to make sure we had each and every item on the checklist identified and addressed, like "In your Operations Manual, where are the procedures to ensure the flight crew are advised, prior to dispatch, of any aeroplane defects that have been deferred, (by Minimum Equipment List or any other means)".



Hooray! Our paperwork was perfect and we have everything that Transport wants to see, so I get to keep my job, at least until the next validation. A validation where they audit our self-auditing process to make sure we are auditing our audits in an appropriately audit-ful way. I certainly feel validated, don't you? :)

Happy St. Paddy's Day! May all of your avgas 100 be a bright shade of green!

This is a rapping flight attendant who is actually pretty great. I'm going to have to do up my passenger briefing in hip-hop format soon.



Lots of new stuff going on lately - I still have my job, which is pretty unusual in this economic climate. Fortunately for me, our parent company is doing pretty well (alternate energy appears a recession-proof industry) and they continue to pay us, so that's nice.

I did my recurrent PPC ride last week as well as got my ACP (Approved Check Pilot) certification done, which means I will be able to conduct flight tests on other pilots and give IFR ratings and type ratings on the Citation 550 jet. It took a hell of a lot of work, but I'm doing up a few posts relating to that and will happily explain in painful detail shortly.

I'm inspired right now so I'm going to work on an upcoming post or two, then hit the pub and get my Irish. My last name is in fact Murphy, so I figure it's a good enough reason ;)

This sticker briefly explains my retardation.

So we got back from a long flight a few nights ago. I had put my overnight bag in the nose for the return flight, forgetting that I had put some of my shaving kit in it. Long story short, at the end of the 3 1/2 hour flight in the unpressurized nose compartment, the aftershave skin lotion in my bag exploded, covering all my clothes.

I got home discovered this, then threw all my clothes in the washing machine. To be effiecient, I figured I'd throw the clothes I was wearing into the laundry also. I guess I forgot to check my pockets...

That makes 2 passports through the laundry in the past 2 years. At $117 each for rush replacement service, it's starting to add up. Passport Canada was nice enough to tell me that if I do this again in the next 5 years, I'm going to have to do an interview w. the RCMP to explain why I keep torturing my passports to death.

One unfortunate thing is that I had to surrender my laundered passports to get replacements, so I wasn't able to keep any records of the various passport stamps I have accumulated over the years.

Thankfully the plane is down for inspection at the moment so I didn't miss any flights, and got to keep my job :)

I have now bought a waterproof passport case and will be keeping my passport in the airplane full-time - the only time I use the passport is when I'm in the plane, so I'm hoping that those 2 preventative measures will ensure that my passport is allowed to become dirty and dusty without me needing to run it through the laundry every 6 months.

It's been 40 years to the day since the Boeing 747 first flew. I'm not really going to talk about that, but it's as good an excuse for a post as any... :)



This Wardair 747 is a -200 series aircraft, essentially the same as the original Jumbo Jet, but modified a little to carry passengers and/or cargo.

I haven't flown as a crewmember in a 747, but I have some really fond childhood memories of spending time in them, so I'm gonna go with that. When we moved to Canada in 1977, every couple of years afterward we'd go to Ireland and England to visit friends and relatives. Luckily for us, an airline called Wardair offered direct flights from Saskatoon to London Gatwick, and so we were introduced to Wardair, arguably the finest Canadian airline ever.

Wardair was founded by Max Ward, back in 1953. He started with a single DeHavilland Otter and eventually wound up with 19 heavy airliners in 1989, focusing on exceptional customer service coupled with relatively low prices.

From a little-kid-passenger perspective, Wardair seriously rocked.

I remember having a great time aboard the absolutely spotless 747, drinking free pop and eating real food and sneaking the occasional small bottle of wine - one of Wardair's taglines was "Steak and Champagne" so you know the customer service was good and the attitude toward giving little kids booze must have been quite permissive back then, which was awesome. Sure they had free booze for the adults, but it takes a special airline to give free booze to the kids :) Now that I think about it, it's genius on their part - give the little brats a shot of hooch and they sleep the entire flight - though I'm not sure if I'd be allowed to use that technique on any kids I might have. The aforementioned steaks were freakin' great also, each one was served on Royal Dalton china with a carnation, cooked to order and big and juicy and filled with the flavor and promise of vacation days yet to come! I'm not even kidding about the part where they asked if we wanted our steaks rare, medium or well-done.

After the steaks came the separate dessert trolley - again I'm not even kidding. I remember getting a piece of black forest cake that the flight attendant cut from the main cake and served to me on a china plate. Oh, in case you are thinking we were rich or something, I'm talking about coach class, not first class. Godzilla only knows how they were treated in first class - I'm guessing hot stone massages and complimentary oil portraits.



One funny thing I remember as a sign of the times was listening to music through headphones that were literally hollow tubes that you'd plug into the armrest - if you put your ear over the noise-holes in the armrest you'd hear the music just fine, and the tubes just conducted the music back to your ears. You'd flip a lever to direct the particular sound tube from the armrest into your headphones, from a choice of about a half-dozen.

Three times I was allowed up front in the cockpit to see out the windows and ask goofy questions- the Captain would let a herd of us file through sequentially in between meal services, sometimes more than once per flight - this was 20 years before 9/11 so we weren't even tased.

It's funny how some of those memories have stayed with me. You know, every time I hear a pop can open in the background, it brings back memories of the Wardair flight attendants opening a can for me and bringing me the ENTIRE can with ice, usually with an extra bag of cookies thrown in because, you know, what the heck. Then sitting in my window seat looking out over the endless blue, the soft hum of the engines in the background reminding me that we were doing 8 miles a minute across the waters. Good times, good times.

What happened to Wardair? Kinda sad story, so I'll be brief. Basically around 1986 they attempted to go from 7 heavy jets to 45 heavy jets in 2 years. That didn't work out so well, and as a result of the scaling difficulties and crushing debt, Max Ward was forced to sell his company to PWA International, which rolled it into Canadian Airlines, which eventually merged with Air Canada. Chomp chomp.

On the bright side, Max Ward is still around, flying up north. He was reportedly the oldest Canadian jet pilot 12 years ago, and doing the math I'm guessing that's still the case. Good on ya, Max.

Oh, and the Boeing 747 celebrated its first flight 40 years ago today.

So we went to Teterboro a few days ago. Teterboro is in New Jersey and it's the main business-jet airport that services NYC. We arrived late at night, cleared customs and went over to the Signature FBO, which is our usual FBO in Teterboro. When flying around we normally use a cheaper FBO, but my boss loves the Signature in Teterboro so when we go there we spend the extra money on fuel and ramp fees to make him happy.

Anyhoo, we show up at 11pm and it's cold and a few snowflakes are falling. Our jet really doesn't like being left out in the cold for very long - all sorts of hilarious and inconvenient electrical problems show up when she's been in the deep freeze for more than a couple of hours - so I asked to have the airplane hangared overnight. For those of you who aren't familiar, it generally costs more to hangar the airplane overnight than it does to put the flight crew up in a hotel. In the case of Signature FBO at Teterboro, they charge $265 US to open the hangar door for us, but it's still a lot cheaper than having to de-ice the airplane the next morning after frost has formed over the entire airplane, and the passengers sure appreciate stepping into a warm airplane a lot more than a cold one. Have you ever sat on frozen leather seats? Not fun.

I grudgingly agreed to the price of the hangar and then the nice lady behind the desk at Signature said "Oh, you will have to taxi the airplane across the airport to the hangar. We aren't allowed to tow the airplanes there any more. Not after all the trouble..." Her voice trailed off and she looked away.

Okay, I hop in the plane and fire her up and head over to the other side of the airport, where the lady assured me that people would be waiting to put the jet inside.

I'm going to cut the details of that evening short, except to say that it was a complete gong-show and I was stuck at the hangar for hours before the plane made it into the hangar and it was entirely their fault.

The next afternoon was no better - I showed up expecting my plane to be pulled out of the hangar and it wasn't, and the hangar was abandoned. That took about 45 minutes to sort out, by which time I was thoroughly frustrated and enraged at the prospect of delaying my passengers because Signature didn't have their act together enough to open the hangar door and tow a plane outside without agonizing confusion and delay.

When I was finally able to taxi the plane from the hangar area back to the main terminal to pick up my passengers, the supervisor on duty at Signature immediately came out to the plane and talked to me.

"I'll be honest. I know we screwed up and wasted your time last night and today. I have no excuse and I'm really sorry. We are canceling your hangar fee and your ramp fee and giving you a gift basket and we are also changing our procedures regarding communication so this doesn't happen again. I know you guys come in here all the time, but I'd feel just as bad if this was your first visit. We can do better and I take full responsibility for the screwups on our part. Oh, we also got sandwiches for your passengers because it's suppertime and we thought they might be hungry. No charge."

Now few things get me angrier than incompetence, but few things impress me more than someone taking responsibility for their actions and being straight-up about it.

Oh, and did she mention something about a gift basket?

I looked at what she brought. It had fruit and nuts and t-shirts and some LED keychains and chocolates and most impressively, a couple of USB thumbdrives for my laptop. The t-shirts were both XXL which really says something bad about corporate pilots, but that wasn't what I was focused on.

"Sweet! I love usb drives!"

She brightened visibly. I'm thinking that maybe the last pilot who got the mea culpa speech and accompanying gift basket from her must have been allergic to nuts or something, and she was expecting me to get psychotic on her anyway.

Long story short, I got the plane ready in record time and had flipped the last switch on the before-engine-start checklist about 2 minutes before my pax showed up, and we flew home and the weather was fine and the passengers were happy and I had a good landing in a howling crosswind, so all's well that ends.

Again, I understand that screwups happen, and that some days you just have to grit your teeth and get through it, but the way that Signature FBO in Teterboro handled the recovery of a bad situation really impressed me. We'll be back, if only to hope for a minor inconvenience that results in more free gear :D

Here's what happened in 2008 at my job:

- We moved into a new office at the airport and also started a friendly business relationship with a much larger scheduled carrier. The carrier now does our maintenance and we rent hangar space from them, and things are working out well - they are straightforward and honest and I trust them.

- The high price of fuel kicked our butts for the first half of the year. The insane prices we had to pay for Jet-A 6 months ago effectively raised our Direct Operating Cost (D.O.C.) by $200/hour for the entire year. In other words, we spent about $40,000 more on fuel for the same amount of flying. Not fun.

- The airplane behaved and we didn't have a single major unscheduled repair. One thing I absolutely love about this job is that my boss is a pilot too and he's not afraid to spend money where it's needed, like making sure the plane is in top condition at all times. We have a deferred defect system in place that allows us to put off fixing certain items if they break - we have never used it as we have never deferred a defect - we just get it fixed before we fly again.

- We went carbon-neutral, and I posted about it here and promptly got mugged for it, so I'll just shut up about that now and quit while I'm behind.

- We behaved and passed audits from Transport Canada (operations division), The Canadian Transportation Agency, The Canadian Business Aviation Association and one from the good folks at Transport Canada (maintenance division).

- The economic recession in the last half of the year has certainly affected charter flying, and we will finish the year with about 25% less charter hours than last year. Thank goodness our primary mission is to serve our company's management personnel on company flights - that means charter revenue is nice, but it doesn't make the difference between being able to put food on the table or not. Our parent company is in sound financial shape, and their business strategy is rock-solid, and I don't anticipate our paycheques bouncing in 2009.

In my personal life:

- Lisa and I celebrated 8 years together, and got married a few months later. My parents both attended, along with relatives from Ireland and all around Canada. I will remember walking with my mom and dad down the aisle until the day I croak.

- Lisa and I moved into a nice neighborhood, into a house with a back yard. It didn't take long to figure out that we are the bad neighbors with our parties and lax attitude toward mowing the lawn and refusing to put robotic blinking-LED-enhanced reindeer on our front lawn from November 1st to January 1st, so that's fun.

- My 21-year old brother came to live with us, and is currently surfing the web upstairs as I write this. It's good practice for when we have kids, and I'm learning new words every day.

- My best friend's dad passed away, only a few years after retiring from his job as Training Captain on the Boeing 747 for Air Canada. That really sucks, and my heart goes out to my friend for his loss - my mind short-circuits at the thought. I'm halfway done a post about the average lifespan of retired pilots - contrary to what you might think, retired commercial pilots actually live longer than the general population - there's a little more to the story of course, but again, that's a subject for another upcoming post.

- I went to my high school 20th anniversary reunion and was amazed at how people change when you drop 20 years on them. I'm 37 but feel 15.

- I lost 15 pounds. I'm sure I'll find them again, I just have to retrace my steps.

Here's what I intend to do better in 2009:

1. Donate at least 10% of my take-home income or 10% of my free time to charity. I have it pretty good, and I will try to never forget that I enjoy a level of privilege that the vast majority of people do not.

2. Quit drinking energy drinks. Why am I paying $3/can to feel nervous and irritable? I can do that just by turning on Fox news and watching Neocons explain the need for more war.

3. Grow a garden in our back yard. My mother has an incredible green thumb and I'd like to see if I can at least get a green pinkie going.

4. I really have to quit giving people the finger in traffic. I don't want to end up running into someone even crazier than myself and getting on the wrong end of a baseball bat because I flipped someone off for cutting me off.

5. Knock Lisa up. Don't worry, she knows about this plan. Lisa is very organized, and she says we are having our first kid in May 2010. Doing the math, that tells me that July 2009 is going to be a productive month. Mom, if you are reading this, I'm sorry for oversharing :)

6. Fly an airplane I have never flown before. In 2008 I flew the Citation 550 and a Cessna 172, and that was it (I flew a Gulfstream IV also, but it was in the simulator, and even though the simulator was a 20 million dollar one, it's not the same as the real plane.) They are both great machines, but I want to spread my wings a little further, variety being the spice of life and all that. That doesn't mean I want to quit my job - I love my job and fully intend to stay there until I retire or get fired - it just means I will likely end up paying some outrageous amount of money to rent a plane I have never flown before.

7. I want to spend some time on this blog and gather and clean up some posts for eventual publication. I don't know about a book, maybe just a magazine article or two. But I want some sort of ink-on-paper record of some of the stories, in case the internet gets unplugged by accident.

8. I want to travel to another continent in 2009, I don't care which one. Well, maybe not Antarctica, maybe I'll save Antarctica for 2010.

9. I want a freakin' cat already. Who said all resolutions have to be onerous? :)

10. I want to show more kindness, both to my loved ones and to strangers, because that's really what life is all about.

A friend of mine by the name of 'sky's the limit' is in Afghanistan right now, writing and taking pictures. He's actually staying in a house that Osama Bin Laden owned and lived in. In STL's own words..."Talk about a theme room.... It's actually quite difficult to believe it, but I'm staring at the same ceiling he did, just used the same bathtub he did, and I can only wonder what thoughts he had while in here. I have issues with time and space sometimes, but to know he was in here at one point in history, or several actually, sure has a way of playing with one's mind."

He has made a detailed post on AvCanada, and I encourage you to read the text for an interesting take on the conditions there.

Clicking makes the pictures bigger.

This is 20 miles Northeast of Bagram



A Chinook helicopter that will shortly be transferred from the US Army to the Canadian Forces.



The business end of an Apache attack helicopter.



An A-10 tank killer departing Bagram at sunrise




A Sikorsky HH60 Pavehawk search and rescue chopper, ready to go on a night medevac.




The night medevac flight was for an Afghan National Police officer hit by an improvised explosive device.




An amazing shot out the back of a Chinook




STL, looking brave and not scared.



What's the number 1 rule of armed conflict? Don't die. I hope and pray STL will obey this rule and post more pics soon.

It's video day today!

First we have a go-around in a large jet. I have posted other go-arounds before, but this one is a new one so I'm gonna add it to the collection. The one-line description says "SATA aborted crosswind landing in Ponta Delgada airport, Sao Miguel Island, Azores"




Now this one is a recent landing by a Cessna 310 with bad nose gear. The video quality is great, so that's cool too. I don't know if I would have feathered both engines before touching down - you never know if you'll need to go-around - but once the pilot has feathered the engines, watch as he/she hits the starter motor a few times to move the propellors to a horizontal position, where they are less likely to be damaged by the gear-up landing. I thought that being able to do that while in the flare was pretty slick.





The details on that one:

"AN NUYS AIRPORT, Calif. -- A small plane with a dangling nose gear glided to a safe landing today at Van Nuys Airport and both people aboard appear uninjured.
The twin-engine Cessna 310 was heading from the San Fernando Valley airport to Camarillo when the pilot realized the nose gear had only partially deployed and decided to turn back."

Whaddaya think? I'd personally rather sacrifice the engines to leave myself more options, but then again I don't pay the maintenance bills on our plane...

This is a new scam to me...we got this fax at our office an hour ago. I'm only bringing it up because it's an aviation-related scam, so that's kinda cool.



Some guy says we owe 80k for airspace fees in the UK from a few years ago. Interesting, as we have never been across the ocean in our planes. Also interesting that they don't seem to know our company name or contact info. To complete the awesomeness, this was faxed to us rather than emailed, and the FROM: name of Pietro Ferrara isn't even the same name as the person allegedly signing the notice, who goes by the made-up name of John Daniels.

Whaddaya think? Should we shoot them a cheque for 80k, just to be good neighbors?

I'm a trusting faun, but it is suspiciously similar to an email alert we got from Nav Canada a few days ago, which I'm cutting n' pasting here for your enjoyment.

----------------------------------------------------------------------


ATTENTION NAV CANADA CUSTOMERS: FRAUDULENT BILLING SCHEME SENT BY EMAIL
This is to inform you of a fraudulent billing scheme targeting our customers.
If you receive the following email notification about outstanding debt, please DO NOT reply.
Instead, disregard the message, which is NOT from NAV CANADA.
NAV CANADA has contacted the authorities and is investigating. If you would like to enquire about the status of your account, please contact Accounts Receivable at 1-800-209-0864 or Customer Service at 1-800-876-4693.
We would appreciate it if you could forward a copy of the fraudulent email that your company received, in order to assist us in our investigation. The fraudulent email should be forwarded to alert@navcanada.ca.

The text of the fraudulent message follows.

From: Richard Vaughn [mailto:no-reply@nav-canada.com]
Sent: Wednesday, November 19, 2008 1:46 PM
To: no-reply@nav-canada.com
Subject: UNPAID INVOICE

Dear Sir,

This is to notify you of an outstanding debt in the area of air
navigation service (ANS) Charges for the year 2007

If we do not receive payment within the next 48 hours, your flights will be grounded and cannot operate within Canadian domestic airspace and international airspace assigned to Canadian control.
If you have any questions relating to this warning feel free to contact
my desk. Your reference [Incident ID: 4962664].


John Daniels
Debt Collection/Unpaid Invoice Department
NAV CANADA
77 Metcalfe Street
Ottawa, ON K1P 5L6
phone: 1-866-954-6999
http://www.navcanada.ca

-----------------------------

Man, good thing Lisa supervises me on the internet, otherwise we'd be 80k poorer...

50 years ago, this was an ad for Pan Am's Boeing 707 jet service. This ad features rare footage of the -121 "short tail" series, and the original Pratt and Whitney JT3C straight turbojet engines.

It sure looks like a glamorous ride...



Things have changed somewhat since then.

I'm up early tomorrow - I'll post some night flying pics when we land at our destination tomorrow morning.

Ahh, a pilot's life. Traveling all over the planet, staying in fine hotels and eating in fine restaurants, meeting beautiful people and having a 'friend-with-benefits' in every port. That's the cliche, but it ain't entirely a cliche.

So there's this pilot I know..

This pilot has an ongoing romantic relationship with 2 other people at the same time. Neither person is aware of the other one's existence. This tells me that my friend pilot is a bit of a sociopath, and is also well-organized. The pilot uses a spreadsheet to make up flight schedules, then shows the fake schedules to each partner, and the schedules are set up to explain the pilot's absence through work. This has been going on for some time, as in years.

This person isn't the first pilot I know who has run two relationships at the same time; the nature of our business is such that random, extended absences are pretty common, so it makes it easier for a cheater to come up with excuses for a liaison. For example, I nearly did a trip to Texas this morning, which would cause me to miss the Hallowe'en party that Lisa and I have been planning for a while. Lisa didn't even bat an eye when I told her last night - she knows it's a part of my occupation / career / passion.

I do admit that from a purely clinical perspective, running two simultaneous and separate romances takes some genius. It also fails a basic risk management test - failure is inevitable, and the consequences of failure will be spectacular but not in a good way.

The thing is, in this particular case, it's worked so far and it's been quite a while.

I couldn't handle a life like that. First of all, I'm not too big on betrayal - I would drink poison for Lisa anyway, and the thought of hurting her on purpose is horrifying. Second, eventually the jig will be up, and I don't have the energy or inclination to worry about whether every incoming phone call I get is a loved one, distraught and furious after having unraveled some small lie that caused the whole big lie to come apart. Lastly, I value my time alone, and a quick peek at this pilot's master schedule (detailing time allocated for work, and for each partner), shows this pilot has zero time alone. To me, it sounds like a private Hell, but clearly I'm missing something. It's gotta be the sex, right? I just wonder how satisfying it can be when it's all based around a lie.

When I think of my pilot friend, the word that comes up a lot is 'selfish' - to me that's doing something that hurts loved ones, but choosing to continue anyway because it gives some sort of gratification. The thing is...

I have had to no-show to lots of important events and occasions with friends and family due to flying, and it is extremely likely that when I have kids I will miss important moments in their lives because I'm away on a trip. Just thinking about it makes me really sad, but it's a price that I will pay, and make them pay, because it's what I want, and because I'm selfish. Really, the only major distinction I can make between my behavior and my pilot friends is that I am honest about my selfishness to my loved ones, while my pilot friend chooses to keep that information private. Is that actually enough? I really hope so.